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Benign storage space or creepy loathsome extension of demonic torture-hell?

January 5, 2011

I have a creeping fear and a nagging suspicion that my garage is actually a tactic of the devil. The devil wants me dead. So he gave me a garage.  Anything in the garage immediately becomes a weapon that the devil and his ghoulish minions can use to commit flagrant acts of murder and terror upon my person.

That’s why your garage should be EMPTY.  In fact, you should have your garage removed from your house by burly men using tractors.

I say this because the devil can use the slightest implement to kill you.

Even one box can mean your death.

ONE. BOX.

Like this:

Here we see the hapless remains of the poor soul who did not heed my warnings about imminent garage death.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. January 17, 2011 1:29 pm

    I know this is a true story!

  2. Emily permalink
    January 22, 2011 5:48 am

    May the box rest in peace.
    Boxes have feelings too.
    Yes. I’m that weird.

  3. April 7, 2011 10:48 pm

    I remember driving into a garage when I was a kid. It was the neatest feeling. But alas, soon it was the dumping ground of the devil you speak of, and became a death trap of washing machine and J U N K! OMG, what a cool memory…the empty garage I mean.

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