Skip to content

When the sun rises, and I have no coffee…

January 12, 2011

…I do what any red-blooded minimalist would do during a cranky-spell in the middle of winter.  I go for a meditative walk. The air is cool, the snow crunches beneath my feet, and I gaze in awe and wonder at the pristine, crystalline beauty of the cold season.  Then, when I see those jolly, carrot-nosed whimsical creations of children, I smile wisely to myself (or is it in a sinister fashion? Hard to tell before my coffee) and I GO MOTHERFUCKING SNOWMAN TIPPING.

 

The brunette is KILLING SNOW.

Because minimalists can’t abide snowmen. I mean, they’re clearly not useful.

Advertisements
24 Comments leave one →
  1. January 12, 2011 8:27 am

    ): Poor snowmen! But you’re right. They’re not useful. But they don’t really count as “stuff” if they’re made out of the few things you already own and then nature’s blanket itself, do they?

    • January 12, 2011 9:45 am

      Exactly. I actually was going to talk about how snowmen are perfect for minimalists because, you know, snow melts, and you get to enjoy a THING without having to worry about storage and maintenance. But then I realized that I was a minimalist WITHOUT COFFEE, and that changed everything.

  2. January 12, 2011 8:31 am

    Now, I was not expecting that.

    TOO Funny!

  3. January 12, 2011 2:44 pm

    lol! I hate to admit it but… that actually sounds like fun. There are armies of snowpeople around here, waiting to be tipped.

    • January 12, 2011 3:46 pm

      I was thinking earlier today that it’d be fun to spend the morning erecting snowmen and the afternoon tipping them over.

  4. January 12, 2011 4:49 pm

    Oh my holy hell. That is the funniest thing ever.

  5. January 12, 2011 4:59 pm

    5 stars for that last sentence alone.

  6. Shannon permalink
    January 12, 2011 5:16 pm

    Excellent idea for next Saturday!

  7. January 12, 2011 8:06 pm

    OMG, my son will love this idea! Can we knock down the blow up lawn ornaments too?

    • January 12, 2011 8:09 pm

      I would like nothing more! Especially if they’re the rotating snowglobe kind! Of course, there are probably more liability issues with those… maybe don’t smash them when you knock them down. And run fast after.

  8. January 12, 2011 8:40 pm

    I find snowman tipping quite useful in making children cry.

  9. January 13, 2011 5:56 am

    I am just seeing your blog for the first time! Hilarious!

  10. January 14, 2011 1:28 am

    Your sooooo funny. Like it a lot 🙂

  11. Jenny permalink
    January 14, 2011 1:54 pm

    HIlarious!

  12. January 20, 2011 1:44 pm

    Too bad down here we rarely have snow. But we have plenty of cows, so you could go cow tipping.

  13. Emily permalink
    January 22, 2011 5:00 am

    …i once made a snowman. It was a good little snowman. but then he got drunk…I think i was seeing things, I was short of wine.
    Im dreaming of a white Christmas…but if it runs out, I’ll drink the red.

  14. Jen Sanders permalink
    April 13, 2011 4:49 pm

    Evil, shitty, mean and SO SO AWESOME!

    When we go to Utah I love making creepy zombie snowmen. Red food coloring is FANTASTIC! Suck it, tiny crying children. Well, not mine. She’s with me putting food coloring on the snowmen. HEH HEH HEH. (insert evil hand-wringing and too loud laughing) Don’t worry, I have already started a therapy jar for my kid. Every time I talk to her or look at her I put change in the jar. I know I will scar her.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: